We need a new Boston Tea Party…but for electronics. Unlike the Founding Fathers, we’re not being controlled by one senile asshole across the Atlantic. We’re being controlled by a cadre of home-grown assholes, through electronic devices that surround our lives, control our lives, ruin our lives.
I’m not simply anti-technology. Some technology is good. Some is okay. But most of it is nonsensical, unnecessary crap that we, for reasons passing all understanding, continue to buy, even though it’s spying on us, giving us monumentally bad advice, and is well on its way toward becoming our new god.
So, let’s chuck it in the fucking ocean.
And Boston seems like a good place to start. Bostonians are already pretty angry, they’re still more defiant, in general, than the denizens of most other large American cities. Plus, it’s tradition. A good tradition. A tradition worthy of a sequel. A long-overdue sequel.
Can’t you picture it? A glorious scene of patriotic Americans, rushing out of college dormitories, sprinting from suburban homes, chucking iPads, cell phones, “smart” watches, pervert Facebook guy glasses, Fitbits and other technological offal in the harbor. We probably don’t even have to dress up like Indians this time. In fact, we probably shouldn’t. That might not go over so well, and could wind up obscuring the point.
The addiction to this beeping nonsense has gotten so perversely bad, so widespread, that there is now a new psychological “disorder” called Nomophobia. (nomophobia: the fear of being without a mobile phone.) That’s a real thing. A lone tear ran down my cheek just thinking about it.
The Boston Tech Party is gonna be awesome. And it might, it just might, launch another revolution, long overdue, against the assholes who are currently giving us taxation without representation.