Your morning bathroom routine, much like your ear hair, is something that never stops growing until you die. By my reckoning, this process, when fully explored over the course of an average American lifetime, slowly grows, then dips greatly, then begins its true slow rise from a process that takes roughly ten minutes every morning … Read more
The League of Women Voters took a circuitous path to its current mission. It began The League of Women Moaters, a traveling moat upkeep operation, which suffered mightily to stay profitable, mainly due to America’s severe lack of castles. Next it became The League of Women Motorists, and was taunted so mercilessly that it quickly … Read more
Two Wisconsin gas stations are suing a local competitor for selling gas at TOO LOW A PRICE. For real, this is actually happening, at a time when everyone is overpaying for gas, mainly because of opportunism. Apparently there is a law in the Badger State, Wisconsin’s Unfair Sales Act, that prevents stores from selling products … Read more
I hate it when the news reports on something offensive that some famous guy said…and then doesn’t mention the offensive something. Don’t get me wrong, I love it as much as the next guy when, in an unscripted moment of rare celebrity honesty, Justin Bieber is caught on tape professing his hatred for Asian midgets, … Read more
or (alternative title) We’re All Aging, We’re Just Doing It Wrong Despite what The Disney Channel, “The National Enquirer” and your mother told you, aging isn’t everything. Reporters seem intent on mentioning their subjects’ ages, even when the article has nothing to do with age. We have these pre-set notions about what we’re supposed to … Read more
Is there really that much of a difference? Insurance began as a wonderful idea. A truly generous, magnanimous and world-changing concept. Someone once told me that the original idea for insurance came from a group of Chinese fishermen, who would each put aside one fish from their day’s haul to give to the fisherman who … Read more
Is there really that much of a difference? Long ago the insurance company was your friend. I just love the ads today about what friends they continue to be. Oh yeah? Well no. They admit it’s very harmful for you to make a claim because your reputation with them will be permanently blackened. You are … Read more
Buy it, even though we’re not going to tell you anything about it. Advertising doesn’t have to be as weird as it is. It could just be companies listing what products they sell. It once WAS just companies listing what products they sell. That ad strategy makes sense, is simple and tells people who want … Read more
Throughout history there have been some really terrible ideas. Some have been harmless and silly: our founding fathers making powdered wigs made from horse hair an essential fashion choice for leading a fledgling nation, hot tub buffets, professional bowling, and the invention and brief popularity of the Unimotorcycle come to mind. Many of these really … Read more
If corporations are people, as the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in one of its shadier, more dangerous, rulings, more than a decade ago, then: How come I can’t hug Exxon Mobil? How come Boeing never sends me birthday presents? How come The Keebler Elves never show up at my house to borrow … Read more