I think their proper name is Yoga Pants, but if so then 90% of the women I know are constantly on their way to a yoga class, because these things are everywhere. And every woman I know, regardless of age, size, shape, race, sexual orientation or marital status owns at least a few pairs of these, if not many, many pairs of non-yoga yoga pants.
Look, I’m not complaining about modern women wearing form-fitting pants. Why would I? Other than the inescapable fact that I am going to look at your ass, please, feel free to continue this fashion trend.
That said, I have some questions.
1) Do they start out as pants for yoga and just slowly expand to become pants for everything?
2) Is it, on some level, an invitation for me, and everyone else too, to look at your ass? Because that’s what’s happening.
3) Are they comfortable? I don’t see how they could be comfortable, but my girlfriend swears that A) They are, indeed, very comfortable, and B) They feel like, and I quote, “I’m wearing nothing at all.” How that’s comforting I’ll never know, but then again, female relaxation outfits for home-based down time tend to be large tee-shirts, underwear and no other leg coverings whatsoever, with the possible exception of socks. I still can’t see how feeling naked is comfortable, but that’s why I’m asking.
4) Do you consider them a dressed-down thing? Or is that dependent on other factors? What you’re doing, who you’re seeing, if you do or don’t want random ass glances?
5) Will this trend continue onto other body parts? Are there such things as yoga shirts? If so, would you wear them, and would you wear them in the same way? Or is this a ridiculous question (Well, even more of a ridiculous question than my others)? Is it a pantsless comfort thing, in which case I’ll just have to chalk this one up to yet another difference between the sexes.
6) When you go to bathroom, do you yank them all the way off, pull them down a bit or roll them down like a tube sock?
7) Since many women seem to want men, and other onlookers, to see the outline of their panties underneath certain clothing choices, is this also the case with the yoga pants? I’ve seen panty lines and no panty lines on these, in roughly the same amount, so I’m stumped on this one, unless it’s a personal yoga pants accessory choice.
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8) Do form-fitting pants help with yoga? I’ve never yogad. I don’t know. It would seem like looser clothes would be more yogatastic, but again, having never yogad I wouldn’t really know.
Yoga pants are just one of those early 21st century things that have invaded and taken over, much like cell phones (Uuuggghh, stupid little devices), TikTok (Uuuggghhh, you seriously don’t have the attention span for a 2-minute YouTube video?), angry middle-age suburban white women telling everyone how to act (I believe the internet calls them “Karens,” which must suck if your name is Karen and you’re not a hall monitor to the world), and motorized scooters (which should go by their true name, future obesity trainers).
If I do get answers to these burning questions, will it diminish my appreciation for yoga pants? I doubt it. I hope not. Still, I’m curious.