In a supposedly “free” country, and one so devoted to capitalism that it’s willing to give up democracy, wouldn’t you expect more choices for types of everything? It seems to me that we’re getting to a point where we do have a few choices, though they’re really just marginally different from the other options.
CARS
Cars look a LOT alike. Like every other car. The Japanese-inspired little plastic thing, the SUV/fake Jeep thing and the old-timey sports car seem like the only choices. Sure, there are cybertrucks, and while they look stupid and explode far too often, I have to admit that they at least look a little different.
Even the colors seem to all be fading towards a sort of grey compromise. Grey is the most boring color. Grey is all but a lack OF color, and yet I see a lot of grey cars out there. Come on, Detroit, mix it up a little.
FASHION
Dear God, fashion is ruled by a bunch of sadistic weirdos. And I’m saying this as a man. I can’t even imagine how difficult it is being a woman, with regard to fashion. First off, it all seems like it’s dictated by some unseen Italian cabal who decides “Next year all women will wear _.” And then we all just do it. That’s the part I don’t get. Living in a college town I suppose I am privy to only a sliver of the fashion options, but still all sorority girls seem to wear essentially five outfits, like there’s some sort of daily alert telling them what to wear that day. And the fraternity guys all pretty much dress like each other, too. Hell, the professors all kid of dress alike themselves, and they’re old enough to know better.
Pants, shirts, socks, shoes, underwear (optional). That’s the guy outfits in a nutshell. Bring back some pantaloons and some frilly collars, I’ll wear ‘em.
IDEOLOGY
Conservative or liberal. Those are our only two choices? And they keep moving the goalposts on what that means. Can I be liberal but not use plural pronouns to describe one human being? Can’t I be conservative and still think Trump is a crazy, five-year-old fascist?
What if I believe in some sort of societal set-up that isn’t one of those two options? What if I recognize that both political parties are bought-off corporate shills and want a society with rabbit pelts and arcade tokens for money? What if I don’t want money at all? What if I think we should focus on improving ourselves and mastering a skill instead of earning money? What if I think there should be no government whatsoever? Again, we could use more than two options.
BUZZ
America has decided to slowly let weed join alcohol as our socially-acceptable buzz options. I’m not recommending a life of heroin addiction, it doesn’t look like much fun, but then again it doesn’t seem like drugs are as much about the drug itself as the person using it. I know people who can do heavy drugs every once in a while and I know other people who, if they have a sip of cough syrup when they have the flu will, inevitably, wind up in a ditch three days later, clutching a crack pipe and crying out to God.
Our options here are booze, pot or a life of crime. Let’s give people some more choices, folks.
LOVE & MARRIAGE
In my experience they do not, in fact, go together like a horse and carriage, but then again, I’ve never ridden in a carriage pulled by horses. Wait, hold on, I might be totally wrong on this one. Horse carriages are bumpy, unreliable, prone to being hijacked by a roving bandit, and slow and boring, very slow and very boring. Maybe love and marriage do go together like a horse and a carriage. Even gay marriage looks boring. Gay people should, of course, have the right to marry, but shit, you’ve managed to escape the trap, why walk willingly into it? You don’t need the government or the church’s permission to be companions, and why involve a joint bank account in your love contract?
Why aren’t there more options here? Like a five-year check in to see if you still want to cohabitate? If you don’t, then you wash your hands of each other, no fault, and divide the assets down the middle or walk out with what you walked in with. Just a poorly-thought-out option, but a different path nonetheless.
In truth, we actually have millions of options for everything, but for some reason passing all understanding, we rarely realize this fact. Open your eyes, spin the giant wheel of possibility and do something different. You’ll be happy you did when it’s all over.